a loss!!!!

Well, I posted a loss today for the first time since January! I have been sick, so I am sure that has something to do with it!

I came to a frightening realization this week that I truly do not believe that God is big enough to be my soul satisfaction! That is why I struggle with food. It gives me an immediate feeling of joy (for those of you not addicted to food, I know that last statement makes absolutely NO sense!), yet it is followed by guilt and the same empty feeling I started with. Yet because of this fickle, flesh I am living in, I find the same to be true about God. Ok, I know that is NOT truth! That is just a lie satan wants me to believe. But lately, it is really easy for me to believe.

I have two major struggles, food and one that is too personal to mention. I realize that I struggle with these two things because I really don't trust/believe God to be enough! So today/this week, my prayer is that God would help my unbelief! That He would show himself to me in a way that I can't miss...that He would fill me to overflowing so that there is no room for food or anything else! That he would satifsy me every longing and craving with Him. Then show me how to stay in that spot!

Now I have to write my menu and grocery list for the week. SOOOOO frustrating! One thing I know is that my whole family needs to be eating healthier! I don't want my kids to grow up with bad eating habits, and Callie especially, doesn't want to eat anything that is no laiden with sugar or fried! So, I know I need to do better of keeping healthy foods to eat around...the problem is, I don't know how to do that myself! So God, help me! Show me what is healthy! GIve me healthy recipes that the kids will eat and healthy snack ideas.

Then there is money! Eating healthy is expensive! The budget doesn't have room for it! So God help there, also! Strectch our dollars and show me how to cut corners!

Off I go! Expecting God to show himself BIG today!