Something's Stirring....

It's nearly 1 am and I can't sleep! Not good since my alarm will be going off in about 4 hours! ugh!

One of the things keeping me up are the thoughts about my struggle with food. God is stirring something in me...not just me, but John too. John received a Word from God during church last Sunday. It was pretty cool and had nothing to do with my food struggles, but I feel it spoke directly to it. It had to do with some major decisions we are making right now. Life pretty well feels like it is in God's blender right now, but I am quite sure he is making something wonderful!

God spoke to John using Matthew 9 and the words of Jesus about pouring new wine into old wine skins. You can't do it. They will crack and spill out the new, good wine. I know God is speaking to me about my affair with food in the same way.

I have been through probably the worst 3 years of my life these past three years. They have been extreme! But there are so many areas of battle that I see beginning to be won...and I feel like food is the one for me that when conquered will open up a whole new world for me and my family. I don't fully understand that, but I am ready to be free from my addiction to food and bondage that it places me in! I am ready for the life God has for me! I am ready to be the new wineskin so that God can pour His new, good wine into me and I will be able to contain it and not waste it by cracking and pouring it out on the ground!

Yes, I want to be thing, but lately, that is not what has consumed my thoughts! What I have longed for is the freedom from the bondage and guilt that my affair and idolatry with food brings. I have shared before that I will pierce my nose when I hit 175 pounds as that will symbolize to me personally that I have overcome my bondage to food and have replaced food with Jesus as my comfort and security! I have thought a lot about that nose piercing....I am ready for my heart to be pierced for God in a new and exciting way!

God, reveal to me the boundaries that you want for me. Show me the boundaries I need to walk in so that I can be free from the bondage of food! I desire you to be my Portion, My Stronghold, my Comforter! Food will hold me no more! What the enemy has meant for evil, You will turn to good! Praise you!
In Jesus Name ~ Amen!